PostHeaderIcon "I'm sorry, I can't help staring..."

One of the fun things about Second Life, or anything Internet for that matter is the ability to present yourself any way you choose. Male, female, human, anthropomorphic, cyborg, robot, flora or fauna...

In Second Life, the thing that kinda-sorta irks 'experienced' users has mostly to do with those who choose to remain in their native human species and the wild variation of 'body shapes'. The first problem in this has to do with the shape editor ('appearance editor') - because the "measurements" don't correlate to anything we are familiar with as far as measurements go. The numbers are strictly static and (I surmise) "percentage-based" rather than anything easy to compare to. Yet the other measurements in world, specifically prim measurement is based on the metric system and easier to understand and relate to.

Secondly, most people don't really care about the level of detail with regard to their look. As long as "good enough" will suffice, that's all the effort they will put into it. So those who do pay attention to scale (myself included) try to correct our basic appearance in a way that allows everything else to 'fit' properly.

Based on accurate prim size measurements, I come out to about 6', 5" and I appear a midget to many others around me. And this isn't about those with ridiculously sized bodies with pea-sized heads or any of that stuff. Just their height is almost laughable... if you care about such things. Most people in SL with a prim-measurement of 7.5' to 9' tall don't know it.

GI Jane Meets Land MineThe problem is with the default Linden shapes. They are scaled properly. However, for some reason many men want to bulk-up to Conan proportions and many women choose to go the anorexic toothpick route. In either case, in order to achieve their desired shape, people will turn the sliders up, rather than down. So they enlarge themselves, rather than 'sculpt' themselves.

But this brings me to the other debate: transgendered avatars, as in a male typist with a female humanoid shape. It is debated that 50% of the "females" in SL are really men (I suspect it's actually more than that, but just my own deductive reasoning - and that being mostly in the 'seedier' side of SL.) Certainly the reverse is true but in nowhere near the numbers.

Half the fun is in trying to spot those "male-typist-females" on the grid. There are many theories (I won't bother linking to the million (exaggeration, obviously) blog postings all over the SLogospher about these) - such as "large hands", "shoulders wider than hips" and of course often just a name will give it away.

[Edit: I forgot to mention that just yesterday morning as I lurked at the "Bondage Ranch" (naughty BDSM meet-and-greet place) - I noticed a "cute girl" in a collar and though I don't usually do the profile thing I was curious. Of course the "First Life" tab had the requisite "Never ever EVAR will I mix SL and RL. Do not ask me to voice because I will never, ever EVAR!!!".  However, that persons microphone was (unknowingly) keyed on. That "cute girl's" voice was putting James Earl Jones and Barry White to utter shame as they argued with their 'significant other' in the room.]

Among the favorites is the size of breasts. Gigantic (non-prim) ta-tas with "buoyancy" set to absolute zero, size set to maximum and shoulders widened to hold them, yet hips half the size of shoulder and short arms with large hands and a pea-sized head and always proclaiming to be a 'lesbian' - which I shall refer to as a "mesbian" hence-forth.


Believe it or not, I have 'voiced' with a couple (only a couple, mind you) of these avatars and the voice was quite female-sounding. Though most often, these 'mesbians' do not have the little-white-dot above there heads, which most will consider and call a "dead give-away' - especially if they argue (from within their profiles) that they will get all pissed-off at you if you even suggest such a thing!

Oh, and is it only me or does everyone get that niggling little feeling that no real female (as in the real person controlling the avatar) in her right mind would actually buy and use those Hindenburg-sized "prim breasts"?

Anyway, it's a debate that's more fun than argument for me. All that to say this:

I couldn't help thinking about the "mesbians" from the grid when I ran across the "10 Things You Should Never Say to a Girl With Huge Boobs" page at
9. "How big are they?" Could God make a boob so big that even he cannot lift it? Think about that while you EFF OFF.

8. "I'm sorry, I can't help staring at them." Limited range of motion in the neck can be indicative of a serious medical problem. Like meningitis, or quadriplegia. Both of which render you unfit for make-outs.

[From 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Girl With Huge Boobs -]

I'm-a wonder if number eleven is "Apply one through ten to Second Life and other SL grids."

Go ahead and run over there to see the other eight. Oh, and I don't take this list as a ;parody' - I suspect it's a genuine effort at edification for all men the world over in first life.

As in "really for real, man."

Oh, and if you see me in world and I am shorter than you, you are an Amazonian-freak-of-nature! :P

art: 'The Masked Fugger'
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