Socially|Mundane

From Wiki: The phrase "Shangri-La" most probably comes from the Tibetan, "Shang" - a district of Tsang, north of Tashilhunpo", pronounced "ri", "Mountain" = "Shang Mountain", Mountain Pass, which suggests that the area is accessed to, or is named by, "Shang Mountain Pass".

Is that what second Life is? The 'utopia in the fictional, mystical 'Shambhala"?

In my previous post, I plopped-up a letter sent to me (with permission) because I wanted to allow this person a 'voice' in a prominent place, rather than buried in the comments section of some other blog article.

Is it my intention to "show the fool by allowing him to have his way"? Absolutely not. I really am a firm believer that everyone has a right to voice their opinion, as long as at some point, all parties who disagree, agree to disagree.

In one of my replies to other talkbacks on that article, I mentioned "sometimes it's not what is said, but how it is said". because I, like many tried to be brief, my full and proper meaning hadn't come across. So I was asked about what I meant when I said that.

I've spoken on this very subject time and again on this blog.

Unfortunately, with any text-based communication (which Second Life primarily is, even with voicing capabilities) we tend to subconsciously add a voice to the word. Instant massagers, email, books, virtual worlds. Along with the voice in our head that we apply to those written words, there is the inflection and so on. So a statement can come-off sounding angry, when it is only meant to be stoic or even in jest. It happens to me often. In fact, my mouth (writing) gets me into more hot water than I care to admit.

I also do professional voice-overs and sound design and the like and I've discovered that voicing at the ADR microphone is incredibly different from "voicing" through the written word. Even the simple arrangement of the same words on the page can really turn a perceived meaning and "attitude" around in a way it wasn't intended by the 'speaker'.

There are many times I will write a phrase and it is taken as 'anger' inside me trying to get out, when in reality, I'm bemused with a light chuckle in my throat and a grin on my face - even if it is not 'in jest'. I am considerably lighter-going, relaxed and amiable than most people take me for. I simply try not to take too much too seriously, including myself.

What I was trying to convey in so few words in that reply is: "...he sounds angry. And the words come-off as angry, disillusioned, upset, whatever. But I don't think he's angry, he is simply phrasing his view in a firm sense."

Of course if we were all perfect writers, miscommunication would never happen, drama would not occur (in either 'life') and everyone would be in Shangri-La.

The whole of "miscommunication runs rampant" in text-based communication. And often, relationships fall apart, friendships end and disillusion with the medium sets-in.

Without the other critical forms of communication to go with text - vocal inflection, and then the secondaries: body language, facial expression and so on, misunderstandings happen a lot more often than not.

A good example is with a young lady I spoke with yesterday. We chatted for a few minutes, nothing special, just the casual stuff. We both are "oldbies' in SL. And I mentioned "...we both know better about relationships in SL". She went on to tell me how 'jaded' she had become. But how she also had a revelation. She was very happy. She mentioned that if she is 'lucky', "after tonight I won't be single anymore."

We continued chatting and after another ten minutes or so, I congratulated her and wished her the utmost happiness and said something about wedding bells.

She laughed! Humorously telling me not to be sending her down an aisle just yet! And there it was. Another simple miscommunication. We both laughed at it and I explained how my mind automatically connected the word "single" with spousal status (as in have and have not.)

We continued to chat a bit and grazed on this very subject. She mentioned that only a week ago an innocent miscommunication almost ended the very relationship she is most excited about right now.

Shangri-La is a fictional place described in the 1933 novel Lost Horizon by British author James Hilton. In the book, "Shangri-La" is a mystical, harmonious valley, gently guided from a lamasery, enclosed in the western end of the Kunlun Mountains. The story of Shangri-La is based on the concept of Shambhala, a mystical city in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition.

Second Life can certainly feel a lot like Shambhala or Shangri-La, can't it? And my, how misleading that can really be. Time is compressed in Second Life. Many will equate a month of First Life time to a week in Second Life time.

However, when it comes to communication, perhaps it's best to slow down and think of the words we choose to communicate with and arrange them carefully.