PostHeaderIcon Political Science for Dummies

Sim-HoppingSorry, folks... I couldn't refuse.

DEMOCRAT
  • You have two cows.
    • Your neighbor has none.
    • You feel guilty for being successful.
    • You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
    REPUBLICAN
  • You have two cows.
    • Your neighbor has none.
    • So?
    SOCIALIST
  • You have two cows.
    • The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    • You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
    COMMUNIST
  • You have two cows.
    • The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    • You wait in line for hours to get it.
    • It is expensive and sour.
    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
  • You have two cows.
    • You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
  • You have two cows.
    • Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
    AMERICAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
    • You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    • You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
    • You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
    • You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
    • Your stock goes up.
    FRENCH CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
    • You go on strike because you want three cows.
    • You go to lunch and drink wine.
    JAPANESE CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
    • You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    • They learn to travel.
    • Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
    GERMAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
    • You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    • Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
    ITALIAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows
    • ...but you don't know where they are.
    • You break for lunch.
    • Life is good.
    RUSSIAN CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
    • You have some vodka.
    • You count them and learn you have five cows.
    • You have some more vodka.
    • You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    • The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
    TALIBAN CORPORATION
  • You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    • You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
    • You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
    IRAQI CORPORATION
  • You have two cows.
    • They go into hiding.
    • They send radio tapes of their mooing.
    POLISH CORPORATION
  • You have two bulls.
    • Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
    BELGIAN CORPORATION
  • You have one cow.
    • The cow is schizophrenic.
    • Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
    • The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
    • The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
    • The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
    • The cow dies happy.
    FLORIDA CORPORATION
  • You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    • Everyone votes for the best looking cow.
    • Some of the people who actually like the brown cow best accidentally vote for the black cow.
    • Some people vote for both.
    • Some people vote for neither.
    • Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    • Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which you think is the best-looking cow.
    CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
  • You have millions of cows.
    • They make real California cheese.
    • Only five speak English.
    • Most are illegal.
    • Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
    SECOND LIFE CORPORATION
  • You have one copyable cow.
    • You sell copies of the cow for L$5,000 as full perms.
    • You change the textures on the same cow and sell it again as a different, new cow.
    • You change the textures again on the same cow and sell it as a different, new updated cow for 15% more than the first cow.
    • You see the same cows for sale all over the grid for L$99 by people you've never heard of.
    • You bitch and whine that it is a copybot version cow...
    • You bitch and whine that you are losing money because of copybot cow thieves
    • ...who are Brazilian...
    • ...even though you spent no money creating, duplicating, storing or distributing any of the cows.
    • You finally throw your hands-up and blow a gasket.
    • You get pissed-off and "leave SL for good!"
    • ...which lasts about three full days.
    • You create another cow, rinse and repeat.



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