Socially|Mundane

Elizabeth Woyke of Tech We Crave section of Forbes has written an article all you Second Lifers need to read. No, it's not about Second Life particularly. In fact, SL is simply a side-note in the story. But the story itself is an important one. And likely speaks volumes about you specifically:

Tech Addicts - Forbes.com: "Most (96%) compulsive Internet users struggle with time management problems, according to Young's research. Other common problems are issues involving relationships (85%), sex (75%), work (71%), finances (42%), physical well-being (29%) and academic performance (15%). Psychologists who treat Internet addiction typically categorize it as an impulse control disorder."

Now I ask you, does this not scream "Second Life resident"?


And the funny thing is: in this paragraph, she hasn't even reached the subject of Second Life, yet. So, when you read about how Second Life is a sex-haven with over-sexed, erotically-staved miscreants - remember that whatever is said about those people in SL - applies to practically everyone on the Internet.

Pay close attention to the top three issues noted in the quote above: Time management, relationships and sex. These affect all of us while in-world and some while on the Internet in general. Go ahead and admit it.

The question is how well do you handle these issues?

Well, I don't really care about World of Warcraft and Everquest and the rest as I'm a Second Life 'resident'. But all this applies to everyone... All of them and all of us. And the thing is, whether we admit it openly or not, whether we admit it to ourselves or not, we know it's the truth.

I suspect of the three top issues noted above: time management, relationships, and sex, in Second Life it is likely relationships that cause the time management issue. If it's the sex that causes the time management issues then, well, it's just some sex-addicted promiscuous needs-to-really-badly-get-a-life-cybergigolo or prostitute.

Back to the relationships thing... by far, in SL, relationships are why people come... and keep coming and returning to begin with. Strong relationships are built. Often many turn romantic and they flourish. They either will survive or not - and one of the quirks about SL and online anything is that time is compressed - a year in real life can fly-by in a month in an online relationship. We all see it in SL.

The thing is "love is an ocean". Humans have the capability to really, genuinely fall in-love with several others at the same time. All of us in SL looking like young, perfect hardbodies doesn't really help the situation, either. The fact is we have very little control over our emotions. Especially something as powerful as: infatuation; cherish and love. It's even hard to tell the difference often enough.

So, even with the best intentions of maintaining a straight 'friendship' online, many 'romantic' relationships grow stronger and faster all the time. Many even turn to varying degrees of real life - from simple communication like email and instant messenger applications all the way to real life meet-ups.

And that's all okay. Though the fact of the matter is, in Second Life, anything new is exciting and ... well, new! It's refreshing! Thrilling! Love-at-first-sight!

Then, as you become comfortable with each other... the quirks are noticed and the hairline cracks begin to show. Depending on how they are handled, either they always will simply be there or they will turn into full-fledged breaks. Inside SL so what? You move-on and avatars are a microdime a bazillion.

However, if you are one of those SL residents who also has a real life and family at home - be careful and tread lightly. Be open and honest about it and *put* *them* *first*. But those stories are all under specific circumstances. This is a bit different - more generalized to include you and I directly and specifically. This article simply brings the subject up again. Go read it. Even though it's not about Second Life particularly, but rather technology in general, it does apply to you. And me. And everyone else.

Source

[UPDATE]: It's ironic a dear friend wrote a post on her blog at the very same time I was writing this article (even though you see this as a new post, I wrote it at about 6 a.m. MONDAY morning - a full day before it is scheduled to be posted.)

Ao, after reading all that I wrote above, and perhaps even the article, take a look at these two: http://censtwocents.blogspot.com/2008/10/post-where-cen-loses-her-mind.html
And also a response to her at: http://seikatsukoba.blogspot.com/2008/10/dear-cen-i-too-have-felt-same-way-on.html
And yet another... http://aliciachenaux.blogspot.com/2008/10/balance.html

The good thing is that Cen is taking a break. Even if only for a couple days. it's amazing how even only a couple days away from SL or any other 'regular' place you hang-out at on the Internet can really give a fresh perspective on things.

Now for my own selfishness: I'll really miss her while she's away.
I know, I'm no help at all.]